Constant work gives rise to a certain kind of dullness and feebleness in the rational soul.
The mind should not be kept continuously at the same pitch of concentration, but given amusing diversions… Our minds must relax: they will rise better and keener after a rest. Just as you must not force fertile farmland, as uninterrupted productivity will soon exhaust it, so constant effort will sap our mental vigor, while a short period of rest and relaxation will restore our powers. Unremitting effort leads to a kind of mental dullness and lethargy. Nor would men’s wishes move so much in this direction if sport and play did not involve a sort of natural pleasure; though repeated indulgence in these will destroy all the gravity and force of our minds. After all, sleep too is essential as a restorative, but if you prolong it constantly day and night it will be death. There is a big difference between slackening your hold on something and severing the link…
We must indulge the mind and from time to time allow it the leisure which is its food and strength.

Seneca, On Tranquility of Mind

Seneca’s On Tranquility of Mind is full of wisdom that remains more relevant than ever and closely aligned to what we now know about human potential, although it was written nearly 2,000 years ago.

Feeling overwhelmed is a natural part of life. 

Overwhelm is a temporary state of being, often affected by how you manage your time and energy. Simply, it is having too much to do and not enough mental space or energy to do it. We might feel flooded by emotions and things to do, as if we were submerged by a wave, but unable to ride it out.

We all occasionally feel overwhelmed by expectations, responsibilities, and a lack of time. 

Our work lives have become increasingly demanding, with complex challenges at a hectic pace, over-committed schedules and multiple competing priorities in our personal and professional lives. 

Symptoms of overwhelm often manifest during these busy phases of our life in the following symptoms physically and mentally: 

• Stress – which, left untreated, can result in serious health conditions, including anxiety, insomnia, muscle pain, high blood pressure, shortness of breath and a weakened immune system
• Brain fog and forgetfulness  – Narrow focus, attention and memory
• Cluttered mind – Impaired creativity and productivity
• Irritability – Lower capacity to connect to others, self-compassion and compassion
• Difficulty sleeping – Fatigued and drained 
• Lower decision making and self-control

Although it is natural to experience these symptoms every once in a while, they should not become the “new norm” for you.

Daily stress can become chronic, and can lead to burnout. Unaddressed job burnout can have significant consequences. Do not let overwhelm turn into burn out. If you are unsure whether you might be experiencing burn out, refer to the Mayo Clinic definition (“Job burnout is a special type of work-related stress: a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and loss of personal identity.’) and their their online resources on symptoms and causes. If any doubts, refer to a medical professional or therapist. 

Burnout is what happens when you try to avoid being human for too long.

Michael Gungor

Everyday overwhelm is different from burn-out. It happens all the time to most of us, and it is not (should not be) permanent. It is a temporary condition of your job and your life.

When we experience overwhelm, we may struggle to find solutions to our problems or may even think that there are no solutions. This makes the problems seem even more overwhelming, distressing and difficult to manage, having a further negative impact on our mood.

However, through well-being rituals and reviewing the causes of our overwhelm, we can regain control.

Getting over overwhelm- 4-steps overwhelm log

This overwhelm log is cathartic (getting that overwhelm out of your head and on paper gives you a sense of control), actionable (as you start writing, your brain will come up with solutions), and empowering (stress becomes more manageable).

STEP 1: Log your overwhelm

• Brain dump a list of everything that is in your mind and causing overwhelm, and write it down on paper. This is not about goal setting or creating priorities. It  doesn’t need to make any logical sense. You cannot get over overwhelm until you recognise where it is coming from.

STEP 2: Assess your overwhelm

• Overwhelm can affect our ability to think and act rationally so it is important to take a step back and consider the cause of the overwhelm. Overwhelm makes everything feel bigger and more complex than it generally is, which can snowball into chronic stress and anxiety or burnout. 
• Is your overwhelm just due to one tough week or has it been lengthening and might you be close to burn-out? If in doubts, check the Mayo Clinic online resources and consult a medical professional or therapist. 

STEP 3: Get over overwhelm with the 6 “A”

Axe

Audit your life and work and eliminate as much as possible. Make an objective list of all your activities – reassess what you do, how often and for who. Axe any non-essential or at least put it off until you have the bandwidth. 

People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.

Steve Jobs

When you are feeling overwhelmed, you need to simplify your life, set boundaries and declutter your time. 

Stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone and everything.

Learn to say no to the trivial many so you can focus on the vital few things in your life.

Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Review your list of goals and what / who you say yes to. Think about what you need to change or add to your process to help you get there. You may want to use the following questions for inspiration: 

• What is truly essential? What is important right now?
• What can I eliminate / reduce (e.g. activity clutters such as unimportant meetings and emails)?
• What did I resent spending time on recently? If you’re not sure what boundary to set, think back to a moment recently when you were resentful. It is often a sign that you are pushing past your limits in a way that doesn’t serve you. (e.g. Did back-to-back emails and calls prevent you from actually sitting down to eat dinner or getting to bed on time? Did you realize with bitterness after a long workday that you didn’t leave the room or move your body at all?)
• Are my deadlines the real deadlines or the arbitrary preferential deadlines set by others for their agenda? If they are others’ preferences, how can I challenge these? (e.g. clients, colleagues, manager) 
• How can I simplify how I spend my time to be more intentional and inject more joy?
  • What are the 20% of activities or people that are producing the 80% or more of results and positive emotions?
  • What are the 20% of activities or people that are producing the 80% or more of the pain or negativity?
  • What would this look like if it was easy? 
  • Does this give me pleasure (joy) now?
  • Will this give me joy and meaning in the future?

Ascertain

Reconfirm priorities and urgency. The overwhelm fallacy is driven by an extreme sense of urgency. This is actually a cognitive distortion. Get clear on what is actually really urgent. Every morning, write down the 3 priorities you want to accomplish that day. Refocusing on the present moment and relentless prioritization is critical to managing overwhelm. It means being comfortable with incompletions (e.g. unanswered email or non urgent / non important tasks) and taking the time to recharge, so you will return to work refreshed the next day. 

Assess

Assess what changes you could make: 

• Define 1 or 2 small changes that you could implement yourself without asking for permission. If possible, focus on what is most energy draining but time intensive.
• Define 1 bigger change for which you might need to ask permission (e.g. change frequency from weekly to monthly, upgrade to new system, work from home on Friday, delegate X to Y etc.)
• Define how you could share resources rather than time to help others (e.g. do a Loom video to explain something to a team member rather than a meeting; send voice notes; suggest someone else who might be able to help; offer to introduce them to someone you know; share links to relevant articles or videos; suggest books you’ve read that might be useful; point them to any resources you’ve used yourself in the past.)

Ask

Delegate or hire. This may be hard to do when you are passionate about your work, but critical – whether it is delegating projects, requesting coverage for your vacation, or simply asking for help.

Adjust

Adjust the challenge level or the deadline. One of the most powerful triggers for “flow” is known as the challenge-skills balance. Depending on whether the challenge level of the task is too far beyond or under your current skill level, it might lead to anxiety or boredom. So, the sweet spot for flow is when a task is just the right level of difficulty and stress-inducement. Being overwhelmed might be a sign that the challenge or stress level is too high. Adjust the challenge level by reducing your expectations or adjusting the deadline to a more realistic and less overwhelming one where within your control.

Accept

You might need to accept it is a hectic business period and reframe this period with a new story as temporary, and an intentional choice – so you do not resent or regret it (e.g. tight deadlines for strategic project or small businesses / high-growth start-ups at inception phase).

STEP 4: Take action: motion creates emotion and clarity + confidence comes from action not thoughts!

•  Overwhelm can keep you stuck mentally and physically, so much so you feel unable to think clearly or take action and it can lead you to procrastinate.
• For the micro-steps which you identified, specify when you will take action (deadlines, milestones), any accountability for taking action, and consequences for not taking action. Push yourself to take just that first step. Once we begin, we often feel much better, calmer and able to move forward. 

Micro-steps to continue to prevent burnout at work through well-being rituals

REFOCUS WITH MINDFULNESS

With overcommitted schedules, it is tempting to multitask and be in a near constant state of partial attention. Answering emails while trying to get work done, browsing the Internet while eating, talking on the phone while driving. 

However, one Harvard study revealed that what we are doing is less important to our happiness than how present our minds are while we are doing it. 

Through mindfulness practices, whether meditation, breathwork or other, we can rewire new thoughts and condition the body into a new, positive emotional state to create a new reality and work on what we want to change in our life. 

When you focus on the present, you will train your brain to be less anxious, overwhelmed, and reactive.

Meditation is not just blissing under a mango tree. It completely changes your brain and therefore changes what you are … You don’t learn to sail in stormy seas. You go to a secluded place, not to avoid the world, but avoid distractions until you build your strength and you can deal with anything. You don’t box Muhammad Ali on day one.

French Buddhist Matthieu Ricard

Our brain is unlike any other organ: it’s designed to adapt constantly and form new neural connections throughout our life (“neuroplasticity”). Through meditation, your brain is effectively being rewired. As your feelings and thoughts morph toward a more pleasant outlook your brain is also transforming, and you more thoughtfully react to everyday life with that same sense of inner peace, compassion, and self-awareness.

Mindfulness and self-awareness are half the battle to prevent burn-out at work. It lowers cortisol and norepinephrine in the brain which cause anxiety and allows us to stay present in the moment and slow down. In the present, all potentials exist to change our internal state regardless of the outside world. We can’t do this by feeling guilt /judgement / anxiety / fear / stress, ruminating or regretting the past, or being anxious about the future.

• Turn everyday activities in and out of work into mindful activities without meditating. When you find your thoughts wandering to the presentation you are sure you messed up yesterday or the work waiting for you tomorrow, take a breath and bring your attention back to whatever you are doing in the moment. Mindfulness can take place anytime during the day. It involves nothing more than focusing the mind on whatever is happening in the present moment, outside of the patterns and conditioned responses we have built up over a lifetime.
• Have a regular mindfulness practice. It helps to have a regular time – ideally 15-20 minutes a day, and to have a quiet place to get a present. The more practice you have at going within, the less effort it takes. Like a muscle you exercise regularly, the mindfulness skill grows stronger and more reliable, both during and out of your sessions in everyday life. If you have never meditated before, consider guided meditations. You can use an App such as Insight Timer or Headspace or find a guided meditation such as Tara Brach, Binaural beats meditation or Goop YouTube channel. 
• Try breathing techniques (“Pranayama” in Sanskrit, breath control) enable you to “drive the car” of your body, stimulate or relax it. You can consciously change your response from stress to relaxation and from rest to higher energy by changing the rate and the pattern of your breathing. 

There are many different techniques. Here is the 2:1 breathing as an example.

The key when you are first starting off with this practice is you want to start by finding a natural, calm place. Some people jump into too much too quickly, which can actually stress the body a bit more and create the opposite response. 

• First notice your breath and count what a natural breath cycle of inhale and exhale feels like. Place one hand on your stomach and another one on the heart, taking a deep breath in and focusing on inflating the lower belly (to stimulate your vagus nerve).
• Inhale through the nose, Exhale through the nose
• Breathe in equal parts: breathe in the count of 4, breathe out the count of 4 … and do this 3 times, to match the length of your inhale and exhale. 
• If you are naturally prone to anxiety you will probably naturally have a shorter exhale so you are going to extend the exhale. Try to make it a little longer step by step and get to a place where you are doubling the count for your exhale compared to your inhale. By doing so, we are activating the parasympathetic nervous system which is the relaxation response.
• Choose any number – it can be 2, 3 or 4 – this is the number you would inhale with … but with the exhalation of the breathe, you want to double the number that you have chosen … say you chose 4, you would breathe in for the count of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) and exhale for 8 (8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1). This is why it is called the 2:1 breathing technique! 
• As an  extra tip, you can combine this 2:1 breathing and a mantra – for example as you inhale, you can say “I am calm” (3 syllables) and on the exhale “Let it go, let it go” (6 syllables).
• Repeat at least 3 times. Allow yourself to rest in this worry free state, knowing that anytime you need, you can go back to the exercise, ideally multiple times a day when stressed. 

Next time you feel stressed – just know and remember that relaxation is just a few breaths away! Feel free to do it as long as you can and as many times as you want during the day to help you reach the relaxation that you need to operate at your best.

RECOVER

• Switch some video meetings to phone calls. This will give your eyes a break, and you can even pair a call with a short walk around the neighbourhood or even just around your room to introduce movement to your day. 
• Schedule time to be unscheduled. Albert Einstein called this “combinatory play” – and he would often discover innovative ideas during his violin breaks. “Combinatory play seems to be the essential feature in productive thought.” 
• Give yourself and your team permission to recharge and reset. We often feel overwhelmed when we are tired, fatigued or drained, unable to think clearly and make decisions, The key to resilience is recharging, physically, mentally and emotionally. Small breaks throughout the day are great for managing stress, recharging energy, bringing moments of perspective and reflection and returning to work with more focus and productivity. 

Every 90-120 minutes, your body has cycles called “ultradian rhythms” – a period of significant energy and focus followed by a period of fatigue during which it begins to crave a period of rest and recovery. Trying to work against your body’s natural rhythms is often a losing battle.

For daily productivity, you have to manage not just your time, but also your energy level. 

Based on your ultradian rhythms, transition from one 60-120 minutes time block to another by re-energizing and setting an intention and time limit for the next activity. 

It will optimize your productivity, performance, creativity and focus, and diminish overwhelm and stress. 

• List what you can do during your 10-15 minutes breaks, that will generate more energy and focus (presence). Set an alarm or try using an online timer to remind yourself to get up from your desk

Microsoft’s Human Factors Lab released research using brainwave activity to prove that taking even small breaks is incredibly effective at countering virtual fatigue and stopping stress from becoming cumulative. It is less about better time management than redefining productivity. 

The best data we are using is ‘let’s not define productivity as output.’ The question really is, are people burning down a list or are they able to build that creative capital and exercise all they are capable of? Wellness comes with a broader understanding of productivity and leaders taking that empathy and care.

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

• Here are some suggestions but come up with ideas that work for you: 

Re-set your presence with a “mindful break”: 

• Do a breath exercise. Try adding a mantra, such as, “There is enough time”, or “Let it go”.
• Close your eyes and have a mindful pause, using your favorite mindfulness rituals (e.g. meditation to calm down stress and build resilience, to foster compassion and composure ahead of a meeting, to let go of what you have just finished and any emotions associated with it with “release” as a mantra – repeating this word over and over in your own head or out loud).
• Use visualization and imagery to reduce stress and feel like you are experiencing something just by imagining it. Imagine yourself in a peaceful place, like a mountain waterfall, a forest, a tropical beach. Engage all your senses (e.g. sights, sounds, feel of the breeze on your face). This will stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.
• Use sensorial rituals such as a calming music or relaxing smell (e.g. candle, incense).
• Remind yourself of your “brain tattoos” – who you want to be and the feelings you want to give (e.g. your top values and personality strengths, life principles or mantras, inspiring quotes, a word and an empowering image aligned with this word). Check in throughout the day with who you are being. If it is not aligned, then assess how to get back into alignment, so you can fully embody these as you transition onto your next meeting, activity or task. Set reminders on your phone if needed!
• Have a power nap (short sleep to quickly re-vitalize). 
• Set intentions ahead of your next time block activity.

Re-energize: 

• Physically: e.g. Go for an energizing walk, Stretch, Bounce in place and breathe deeply, Put on one of your favorite songs and dance, Skip rope for 3 minutes, Do 5 x 2 minutes planks or 2 series of 20 squats, Foam roll, Spend 15 minutes outdoors. Being outdoors has a uniquely relaxing effect on our nervous systems. (e.g. 15-minute walk in the morning, outdoor lunch break, transition  times in your schedule). As an added bonus, leave your phone behind.
• Nutritionally: e.g. Drink water with freshly squeezed lemon or a nutritious green juice, Have a healthy snack. 
• Socially and psychologically: e.g. Step away from the computer to do something completely unrelated to work – like chatting with friends, family, business contacts or co-workers. Numerous studies show that true friendships offer a mental and emotional buffer against the daily pressures in our lives.

REFRAME

• Identify your top overwhelm (or negative stressors) sources, signals, and solutions. We are very good at managing our physical health in preventative ways. But not so good at checking for other aspects of our wellbeing. When we know the sources of our stress and overwhelm, and our typical “telling signs”, we can be better at noticing when our battery is running low (e.g. rapid heart rate, strong negative feelings, or difficulty focusing). Hence better able to take action to recharge this battery and manage stress before it builds up (e.g. taking a break, tap into mindfulness such as your breath or closing your eyes and thinking of a person, place or activity that brings you calm or other well-being micro-steps).
• Interrupt  your negative thinking spirals and worst-case scenarios. Remind yourself that overwhelm is an emotion, NOT who you are … and you can control your emotions. Refer to the STOP technique for a simple and easy-to-remember approach to channeling resilience and controlling emotions, rather than escalating or prolonging moments of stress when triggered in business or in little annoyances and upsets from everyday life.
• Clear the clutter. There is generally a correlation between the clutter in our physical space and our mental clutter. Clutter is more than just visually unpleasant. When in excess, it stops us from having clarity of thought and can weigh us down emotionally.

RECONNECT

If you manage a team (whether employed or self-employed with a team)

• Check in with your team members about their workload. Remote work can mean fewer opportunities for the type of casual social interactions that happen every day in a physical workplace. It is hard to note signs of burnout, even more so when working remotely. This can spur feelings of isolation and disconnection, which add to stress levels and raise the risk of burnout. To mitigate this, check in casually with each team member throughout the week about how they are doing. Even an instant message to ask how they are doing and what support you can offer, can be a huge boost for someone who is struggling. Ask them to tell you when they are overwhelmed and also when they have bandwidth to help. Demonstrate empathy about how they are feeling about their work pace and volume.

• Tell them how you are taking care of yourself whilst at work. Dare to make it an agenda item in your team meetings if you would like! Sharing your own habits will open and normalize the conversation. When you mention what has been challenging for you, or how you’re trying to balance work and home responsibilities, it can help employees feel like they can open up about those issues, too.  

• Schedule individual weekly catch-ups with your team members even if you don’t have news to share. Hearing from leaders regularly matters to employees, especially at times of heavy workload, challenges or uncertainty. Ensure they make their well-being a priority and encourage them to take breaks within their days, take their vacation days and declare an end of the day when priorities and urgent items have been taken care of.  

These are only a few micro-rituals which can help to manage overwhelm.

But remember that overwhelm is not a place you want to accept or be stuck in permanently … so do keep the pulse on how it evolves and how you feel, as well as those who might be impacted!

After all, the great lesson is that no special natural sights that is more grand and more beautiful than the ordinary sunrise and sunset, earth and sky, the common trees and grass.

Walt Whitman

After a year of disruptions in our everyday life, many of us have realized to renew appreciation for the simple life moments we once took for granted. 

It can be difficult to find the positives at times of challenges. The great thing about keeping a gratitude ritual is that it nudges us to think about things we can be thankful for. These don’t even need to be big things!

Derived from the Latin word gratus, gratitude is the ability to feel thankful and show appreciation for all things good in your life, be it immaterial or material.

I cannot help but recall a London commuting moment.

It was a rainy end of afternoon in the London tube on a cold December month. I was commuting back from work, sitting down, and as often observing people getting in and out at each station where my journey would stop by. At one stop, a lovely couple of elderly Japanese jumped in, soaked with the English monsoon weather and trying to squeeze in the crowded carriage. I immediately stood up to let them my seat, which they were very thankful for. The old man took out a notepad from his bag smiling at me, and started scribbling something. I carried on miles away in my thoughts until my final destination. 

As I was about to get out, this old Japanese gentleman stopped me to hand me over a beautiful drawing calligraphy and bowed saying “Arigatou thank you” … His wife who spoke a little bit English told me he was an artist and wanted to thank me for the seats.

I was so humbled and touched by this polite and human touch in an often too impersonal commuting journey, that it reminded me how powerful gratitude can be in our everyday life.

Benefits of gratitude

Since ancient times, philosophers and sages from every spiritual tradition have taught that the key to experiencing deeper levels of happiness, fulfilment, and wellbeing is cultivating gratitude. One of the earliest advocates of a daily gratitude practice was Dutch philosopher Rabbi Baruch Spinoza.

Now, through the work of leading researchers like Robert Emmons and Martin Seligman, we have science-backed evidence that gratitude virtue is more than just saying, “thank you.”

Numerous studies are demonstrating how gratitude journaling can increase one’s happiness.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. 

It is associated with improvements in mood, life satisfaction, and overall well being. 

Grateful people tend to be happier and show lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol … but higher levels of the “feel good” hormones, dopamine (pleasure) and serotonin (optimism).

The more you practice feeling grateful, the stronger that muscle gets.

In a white paper by The Greater Good Science Center titled, “The Science of Gratitude” (2018), several benefits to gratitude practice are outlined.

For the individual:

• increased happiness and positive mood
• more satisfaction with life
• less materialistic
• less likely to experience burnout
• better physical health
• better sleep
• less fatigue
• lower levels of cellular inflammation
• greater resiliency
• encourages the development of patience, humility, and wisdom

For groups:

• increases prosocial behaviors
• strengthens relationships
• may help employees’ effectiveness

5 rituals to reap the positive benefits of gratitude

STEP 1: Appreciative daily ritual

Research (from the University of Minnesota and the University of Florida) shows that taking time to experience gratitude can make you happier and even healthier. 

People who keep a gratitude journal and write down at least five things that they are grateful for and why, enjoy higher levels of emotional and physical well-being, lower their self-reported stress levels and get a greater sense of calm at night.

According to a study by researchers from the University of Minnesota and the University of Florida, having participants write down a list of positive events at the close of a day — and why the events made them happy — lowered their self-reported stress levels and gave them a greater sense of calm at night.

Each night for about 2-3 weeks, take 5-10 minutes to write down five things for which you are grateful.

Journaling is a great way to practise mindfulness and connect with your thoughts and feelings.

These five things can be little things (e.g. a meal you enjoyed or a meaningful conversation with a friend) or big things (e.g. a business deal or promotion, a loved one healed from a serious disease). 

The key is, despite the repetition, keep emotions fresh, imagine what each item means to you as you write it down, and experience the feelings associated with it. 

You can just write a word or short phrase, but as you write these things down, take a moment to be mindful of the things you’re writing about (e.g., imagine the person or thing you’re writing about).
You can do this exercise on your own or with a loved one (e.g. a partner, a child, parent, sibling, or closed friend). Expressing gratitude together can contribute in a meaningful way to the relationship, by telling one another what has made you happier in the past day, month or year. 

It doesn’t have to be a written journal. Lots of people journal visually, by drawing daily gratitude sketches or taking photos of things they are grateful for or using an app.

As a family, keep a “gratitude jar” where everyone puts in a little paper with what they are grateful for every day and you open these on the week-end.

Create visual reminders.

e.g. sticky notes, notifications to remind yourself of what you are grateful for throughout the day. 

Practise habits stacking.

If you find it hard to fit in time for a gratitude practice, try working gratitude into your life through habit-stacking. For example, when you wash your hands or teeth or take your shower, you have an opportunity to remember 3-5 things you are grateful for! It is an easy way of adding meaning to these routine moments – and without having to find any more time in your day. 

Use the following prompts if needed:

Gratitude prompts:

• Who do I love in my life? Why do I love them? How do these people make me feel?
• What am I proud of in my life?
• Who has shown me kindness in my life? How have they shown me kindness?
• What or who makes me happy in my life?
• What material possessions do I have that I’m grateful for and why?
• What challenges have I endured that I can now be thankful for?
• What am I happy about right now? How does it make me feel?

Evening gratitude prompts:

• What is the best thing that happened today?
• What / who made me smile or brought me happiness today today?
• What or who inspired me today?
• Who or what brought me comfort and deep peace today?

STEP 2: Replace “have to” with “get to”

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” (Abraham Lincoln)

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” (Dale Carnegie)

It is often a matter of perspective. When you shift the words you use, you change your entire perspective and therefore your approach around what you are looking to accomplish today. Think about all of the things you “have to” do today. Replace the phrase, “I have to” with “I get to”. It is a small shift, but it makes all the difference in your approach and your attitude. 

Aimee Mullins epitomizes the power of gratitude. She was born with a medical condition that required that she had both of her legs amputated below the knee when she was a child. She learned to walk on prosthetics, then to run and went on to achieving incredible athletic achievements. Her TED conference talks are amongst the most-viewed of all time.

“Part of me would have loved to have felt sand between my toes … But am I disabled because I haven’t? I don’t think so. Sometimes when I go to the beach with friends, and we are walking barefoot over pebbles and they are “oohing” and “ouching”, I think, “I’m really happy right now.” Life is about making your own happiness – and living by your own rules.” “Adversity is just change that we haven’t accepted ourselves to yet.”

STEP 3: Be mindful of your 5 senses

Be mindful of your five senses. How does each enhance your life?

Breathe, pause, and be grateful for the air that is filling your lungs and making your life possible. Pay attention to your senses, to everything you are seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, and maybe even tasting, and see how many things you can find to feel grateful for.  

Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. It lowers cortisol and norepinephrine in the brain which cause anxiety and allows us to stay present in the moment and slow down. In the present, all potentials exist to change our internal state regardless of the outside world. We can’t do this by feeling guilt /judgement / anxiety / fear / stress, ruminating or regretting the past, or being anxious about the future.

Take a “mindfulness gratitude walk”.

A gratitude walk is a powerful way to shift your mood. It is particularly useful when you are feeling down or filled with stress and worry. 

Set aside 20 minutes (or longer if you can) and walk in your neighborhood, through a park, around your office, or somewhere in nature. 

As you walk, consider the many things for which you are grateful for – e.g. nurturing relationships, your health and that of your loved ones, and the nature around you. 

“Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement. It would be wonderful if they came to us unsummoned, but particularly in lives as busy as the ones most of us lead now, that won’t happen. We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them, to love them, and to live, really live.

This is not a dress rehearsal, and today is the only guarantee you get.”

(Anna Quindlen, 2000 commencement speech at Villanova University)

STEP 4: Share gratitude

One of the most fascinating facts about gratitude is the de-multiplied impact it has when shared with someone else. One of the best ways to be happier and to gain clarity is to make other people happier

When you care for other people’s fulfilment, your mindset widens and your own problems become less significant, which increases your inner peace and your own happiness.

When you forget about yourself and your problems, and you focus on helping others, your anxiety and fear lessen and you gain a better perspective on life. 

Kindness, like happiness, is contagious. There’s a name for it: “moral elevation.” When you feel this sense of moral “elevation”, not only do you say you want to be a better person and help others but you actually do, when the opportunity presents itself.

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” (Marcel Proust)

Give daily “thank you”.

Gratitude has profound effects on the happiness of both the giver and the receiver, and on the relationships. If you acknowledge people even for small favours they are also more likely to want to help you out in bigger ways in the future. 

Send 5 thanks a week.

One of the most effective ways to build powerful relationships (e.g. partner, family member, dear friend, business contact, client, mentor, manager, colleague) is to thank people for all they do for you, and acknowledge them. Make it one of your weekly rituals for 15 minutes a day, to send at least 5 thank you notes a week – whether this is a text, email or even hand-written note (e.g. beautiful postcards, card with inspiring quotes, photography) as it is more personal and will be more remembered and appreciated (particularly in this modern time!).  

The power of gratitude is also true in business (e.g. rituals, practices, appreciation programs, interventions, helping others) to empower and engage teams. 

Researchers from Wharton found that gratitude in the form of managers saying thank you to their employees for their efforts motivated them to work harder.

Doug Conant, who took the reins at Campbell Soup in 2001, is famous for having created a company culture of gratitude. The stock price was falling and it was the worst performer of all the major food companies in the world. By 2009, the company was ahead of the S&P Food Group and the S&P 500. Over the course of his 10-year career leading the soup giant, Doug Conant wrote at least 30,000 thank-you notes to employees and clients. In a 2011 Harvard Business Review article, Doug Conant explained that he sent handwritten notes because more than half of Campbell Soup associates didn’t use a computer. “Have you ever noticed how a pat on the back makes you feel great for days? If the praise comes in handwritten or email form, maybe you frame the note and put it on your wall so it can lift you up on a tough day or help you feel more engaged at work. Years of studies by Gallup and other research groups have shown that engaged employees are much more productive. Sadly, kudos from bosses are all too rare. Believe me, I know.” (Doug Conant)

STEP 5: Savour

Savoring turns up the dial of our positive emotions. This is a great way to bring yourself into the moment, past focused, present focused, or future focused. 

Our days are the addition of the micro moments we experience. Our lives are an accumulation of little experiences. Why not savor experiences and dial up positive emotions?

Savoring involves mindfully engaging in thoughts or behaviors that heighten the effect of positive events and positive emotions. There are 3 types of savoring: Anticipatory savoring (looking forward to a positive event); Savoring the moment (intensifying and prolonging the enjoyment of a current experience); and Reminiscing (reviewing a past event to rekindle positive feelings). e.g. Did you have a win at work or do you just return from a wonderful holiday? Think about that and share it! Are you looking forward to dinner out with your significant other tonight? Take a few minutes and think about the delicious smells in the restaurant and what you will order.

It is a form of mindfulness practice and all about paying attention to the moment. Instead of multitasking and being focused on the past and future and on the present negativity all around, those of us who are most satisfied with our lives stop to enjoy the beauty and the small, amazing things in life.

Here is a fun video on savoring, of how Pixar’s Pete Docter got out of his head and savored the good in his life.

Practice:

• Practice the art of savoring by picking one experience to truly savor each day (e.g. a nice shower with an uplifting or relaxing fragranced shower gel, a delicious meal, a great walk outside, or any experience that you really enjoy). 
• When you take part in this savored experience, be sure to practice some common techniques that enhance savoring. These techniques include: sharing the experience with another person, thinking about how lucky you are to enjoy such an amazing moment, keeping a souvenir or photo, and making sure you stay in the present.
• Note: You can also recall a negative event, or all that have not happened / all the bad things that could have happened but didn’t. Doing this helps you appreciate your current situation.

When gratitude becomes your default way of seeing life, you become more aware of how much you have to be grateful for and reap the mood-boosting benefits! However you do it, it is a magical gift to give yourself that is available to all of us, all the time.